What goals in life are you setting for yourself and, more importantly, are you working towards reaching them? Can you remember at New Year when you promised to make positive changes to your life, are you following them through?
Many responded with answers such as –
- To be a better mother
- To find more time to spend with my kids
- To make my relationship work
Women forget they are anything more than mothers or wives, I have 6 children myself so I understand why wanting to be the best mother you can be is amongst the goals we set for ourselves, what about things that make us happy or happier in life.
Goals in life I set for myself
Use my experience to inspire and motivate others
I decided a long time ago that if I was to save just women from feeling as alone and afraid as I once did then the years of fear and abuse were well spent. I have reached this goal, I have helped women and it’s an ongoing goal now.
Live my life to the fullest
5 years ago I was told I would have a severe mental illness for life and there was no hope for me. In no uncertain terms, I was made to feel as if I had been given a life sentence. I was upset that I had lost my career, my friends and my mind to mental illness and my psychiatrist did nothing to reassure me that life would get better. Medication was my only option.
While medication still plays a part in my recovery I now volunteer with the NHS and work alongside mental health professionals, helping to shape the future of our mental health services. I am a public speaker and I am able to use my own experience of the services to show what helped and what did not. I am part of the expert by experience team and we are called upon to help with all aspects of the trust.
I stopped surviving and I started living because my goals in life changed. Long gone are the days when I thought I wanted to die, the saddest part is I still have bad days but I know they are just that, they are part of my illness. While it may prevent me, it does not stop me. Some things just take me longer than others.
Make myself happy
I have always put others happiness and needs before my own, be that my children, my husband or my family and friends. This left me vulnerable to be emotionally abused as I was an easy target. I wanted people to like me and therefore, I went out of my way to please them. Family and friends and my husband toke advantage of this.
I was unhappy in my marriage for many years and 8 months ago I ended the relationship. I knew it would be difficult to do but it was what would make me happier in the long run. I do not regret that decision, it’s something I did for my own self-worth.
And while my children will always remain my main priority I also no longer feel guilty for treating myself occasionally or going out to socialise with friends. If I see a new pair of boots I need in my life, then I buy them. My children do not suffer because I have bought myself something and not them.
I will not feel guilty for wanting time away from my children either, I used to think this meant I was a bad parent and let’s face it bad parenting and mental illness are often highlighted by the media. I now go out with friends, leave the children home with their father and visit friends and family without them or go shopping. I feel a better person for it. I am able to recharge my batteries.
I only set myself 3 goals in life for this year and I am proud to say that I am working towards all 3 of them.
Because like L’Oréal’s advertising slogan – I’m worth it
“There is no achievement without goals.” – Robert J. McKaine
Goals in writing are dreams with deadlines. – Brian Tracy
“Without goals, and plans to reach them, you are like a ship that has set sail with no destination.” – Fitzhugh Dodson
“What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.” – Zig Ziglar
What goals in life do you have and what are you doing to reach them?