This is an anonymous blog post
I wanted to share my experiences of how it feels post abortion and the emptiness I felt in my life which drove me to have an abortion at 6 weeks.
It began back in December when I found out I was pregnant, sadly my partner didn’t want to keep the baby. This was to be a make or break situation. As I had messed up before in the relationship and he had forgiven me, I felt I owed him this. I knew why abortion is wrong if you don’t agree to have one but I felt I had no choice.
I knew exactly how far gone I was when the baby was due but I knew without my partners help and support I just couldn’t keep the baby.
I felt a total emptiness inside and it took a great deal of strength but I made that dreaded call to an abortion clinic. All the time on the phone I sat sobbing in tears.
I made the appointment and I will never forget the date, I was 6 weeks pregnant when I turned up at my appointment.
I wasn’t prepared for post abortion feelings
I told myself over and over again that I would get through this, when my name was called and I went into the room and my blood pressure was high, but who could blame me?
I was told to get up on the bed as they were going to do a scan to see how far I was, as I dressed myself afterwards I looked over and saw the monitor screen and saw my baby and that was it. I broke down.
But I had to be strong because I had a little boy who was 4 years old already so I kept strong until now. I am feeling emptiness again like I am missing what was inside of me as I would have been due around now.
The bleeding after abortion is heavy and painful and its a constant reminder of what I have lost.
Post abortion I feel dead inside, I feel that I will be punished in the long run for doing this. I hope in the future that I can forgive myself and, at least, try to move on but I will never forget that day I went in and had an abortion.
I don’t think there is enough care post abortion for women, I wasn’t offered any kind of counselling, I was just told to go home and rest. I feel so alone.
This is an anonymous blog post. You can share your own real-life story to help others. All blog posts submitted via the blog anonymously email form will be added to the blog anonymously for you, just like this blog post has been. Don’t read and run, show your support by leaving a comment.