I am asked often what to do if you hate your life and I have to admit one of the saddest, yet frustrating aspects of owning a support group for women on Facebook has to be to seeing women so unhappy in their lives, so downtrodden in misery that they don’t see a way out or even want to end their lives.
If I had a pound for every time a woman asked me how she can change her life I would be a very rich lady.
The problem is many of these women are clearly depressed, stuck slap bang in the depths of the demon’s grasp, clawing their way out desperately for the sake of their children, yet have no fight left to give.
But there is a way out and you can change your life.
This is what to do if you hate your life
Make a list of why you’re so unhappy and why you hate your life.
How can you change your life if you don’t know what you need to change?
What changes would you make today if you could?
What changes can you make today?
Now I of all people know how depression makes you feel, you feel as if your never going to come out the other side.
But I promise you with the correct help and support and yes that includes going to speak with your doctor and taking any medication he describes, you can and you will see the light at the end of the tunnel.
You have to work hard for it
Nothing in life comes easy, I truly believe how much you put in is how much you get back out.
The first thing you need to do is start dealing with your emotions, why do you feel the way you do?
Why do you hate your life?
When you have no motivation, the simplest daily tasks can become overwhelming and you may feel like you can’t achieve anything, this is the time to pull those big girl pants up and give yourself a kick up the ass.
You can argue that your depressed and that gives you the right to sit and feel sorry for yourself and your allowed to hate your life because nothing is going right for you, but is this really true?
Are you not being selfish to yourself?
Do you not deserve to be happy?
Do you not deserve love and self-worth?
Because I think you do.
I also know only you have the power to change your life.
There is no closed-door, you’re holding the key.
Only you can close that page of the chapter and turnover to start the next, a blank canvas.
No, the depression won’t have gone but you will have found a new strength because you have decided you’re going to fight with every inch of your being.
to fight whatever is making you so unhappy.
Nobody should hate their life, we only get one so make it count.
Start taking responsibility for your life
Oh it’s so easy to place the blame, I did this for many years.
There was no way I could ever be happy because I was the victim of domestic violence, I was bipolar, I self-harmed, I had anorexia and because I suffered from Post Traumatic Stress or because the anxiety crippled me.
Yes, I have lots of excuses too and have used them all.
I have had so many reasons to be unhappy and the excuses to believe I will never be happy yet I decided it was bollocks.
A mental illness or a dysfunctional or abusive past doesn’t have to ruin my future. The past is the past, you can not change it but you can change how you allow it to affect you.
I have to take medication each and every day, multiple times a day and I will no doubt have to for the rest of my life but this medication along with years of intensive therapy has allowed me to accept my past and my mental illness.
I have learned the hard way that I can be happy and I am the only one who can make me feel that way.
I am in charge of my own life and I have the right to make any changes I need to in order to live a fulfilled and secure life.
Put your happiness first for a change
The next time someone asks me what to do if you hate your life, I will tell them to take responsibility of their life.
One of the worst things you can do is stay in an unhappy relationship for the sake of the children, it damages everyone involved, including your children.
I have lost count how many mothers I see in January moaning about how unhappy they are, their partners are lazy, lay around all day playing on the Xbox, do nothing to help with the house or with the children.
Yet 9 months later they are still complaining about the same things, nothing has changed.
Why are they putting up with it?
Put up and shut up or do something about it.
You have the right to tell him to either change or leave.
It’s not easy
Change isn’t easy and it can be damn right scary, how will you cope as a single mother, if you leave your job that’s making you so unhappy will you ever find a new job?
That’s why goals in life are so important, these are easy step by step instructions of how you’re going to work towards a change.
What goals have you set for yourself this month and this year and are you actively working towards them?
The hardest decision I ever made was to live when I wanted to die.
It has taken me over 3 years of slowly, daily, setting myself small goals and sticking to them even when I wanted to give up.
I had to make so many changes, I thought it was never going to be possible to be happy with myself and my life, but it was and it is.
I knew my marriage was over a long time and yet I was terrified to be alone with 6 children, yet I knew it was this unhappy marriage that was making me miserable and so I ended it.
Drastic as it sounds, it was the right thing to do.
Accept things need to change
Change how you see yourself – you are worthy of love and happiness
Change how you see others – put yourself before them
Change your thoughts – keep an automatic negative thoughts diary and work towards a positive mind.
Only you can change your life!
And change is what to do if you hate your life, do you agree?