Stuck Up Mother In The Playground You Get On My Tits

Dear stuck up mother in the school playground,

We all have that one person we don’t like right? Maybe it’s just me but some people really do get under my skin. For me the latest has to be you the stuck up mother in the school playground, now don’t get me wrong, there are a few of these  at our children’s school, but there is certainly one that stands out from the rest and that’s you.

I call you a stuck up mother as every time I see you, it’s you who avoids eye contact with me, you can’t even be bothered to throw a fake smile in my direction, instead you stick your nose up in the air and look away. This  infuriates me, really gets on my tits, yet I can’t help but pity you. What makes you behave this way? Do you think you’re better than me for some reason?

Do you think you have better friends than me? Is it because you stand in the little clique circle of mothers? The ones who gossip about and pull every other mother in the playground to bits, to make themselves feel better about their own flaws? But my friends are amazing, they maybe a funny breed and have a few screws loose, but I tell you something they are real friends.

I don’t have to have expensive foundation plastered to my face, (which can I add looks like it has been put on with a cement mixture, honestly love the white line under your jawline really needs to be blended in) first thing on a morning to make them want to be friends with me. I roll up with bed head and they are still happy to be seen in public with me, that’s true friendship.

But you don’t have real friends, not really, you have those fake friends, you know the type who act all nice to your face yet behind your back they talk about you, yup iv heard them. I can’t help but smirk. I don’t feel guilty that they are talking about you as the only thing that comes out of your own mouth is gossip about others and you never have anything nice to say about anyone.

Thinking you’re better than everyone else

You’re this stuck up mother who thinks she’s better than the other mothers in the playground, quite ironic really as I feel sorry for you. I walk past you sitting in your car most mornings, you see me coming, but you pretend not to. I always look at you and smile. I deliberately say hello if I am close enough because I know it disturbs you. You never know where to put yourself and I think it’s funny.

It must be a lonely day for you once you climb into your shiny new car and drive home after dropping the sprogs off at school and yes we all know your shiny new car is on HP love, your husband definitely doesn’t earn that much despite you wanting us to think otherwise. We all know you don’t work, your a “kept lady” I have heard you call yourself it many times.

I don’t call you a kept lady, I call you a lazy ass because you gloat how you have a weekly cleaner, really that’s just damn well embarrassing. You sit on your ass while someone has to clean up your shit around you? Perhaps you may break a nail, but come on I wouldn’t dare sit there having a cup of tea while someone did my housework, I wonder if she thinks your lazy too?

I also feel the need to tell you that the gym clothing you wear some mornings looks bloody hideous, honestly you need to buy the next size up love a bulging camel toe is so OTT for the school playground. It would look fine in the next size up. Now I’m no oil painting but I don’t pretend I am, do I? I don’t think you even go to the gym, I think it’s just for show. I mean who puts on their face to go to the gym?

Maybe you’re just lonely and have low self-esteem?

I think you know I’m no fan of yours, we have had a few run-ins and we are very different people, I think you’re used to people backing down to you, yet I never have and you didn’t like it at all, I could tell but as our paths cross as we have mutual friends and I always say hello, I’m like that you see, pleasant and can put my personal feelings to one side. I find it rather rude that you can not.

I am not sure why you don’t like me, perhaps it’s because I’m that crazy lady with loads of kids? Well, this crazy lady has been through more shit than you have had hot dinners and your stuck up attitude is wasted on me. You are no better than me, your kids are no better than mine, we are equals, we are both mothers who should be supporting each other, not trying to outdo each other.

No matter what anyone has done, you have done bigger and better, you never congratulate anyone you have to tell you instead of something similar you did. Your kids are better than anyone elses too.

It’s just bollocks. Are you lonely and suffering from low self-esteem? Is this the reason you need to make yourself feel better than others?

Being a stuck up mother really isn’t a great thing to be, it can actually get quite lonely because if they are talking about others with you, then you can guarantee they are also talking about you to others. So next time you see me why not smile, say hello or even stop for a chat because then you would see I am actually an amazing mummy and friend and I can guarantee your judgement of me will be proven wrong.

Stop the stuck up mother act. it really doesn’t suit you and you get on my tits with this facade.

From a common mother