At 9 years of age, I didn’t t know that sibling sex was wrong, I knew it hurt, a lot, but I thought that’s what all big brothers did to their little sisters.
I thought it was because he loved me; well that’s what he told me, that he had to do these things to me.
My big brother was 5 years older than me, he was quite scary too.
He didn’t just suddenly rape me, it happened slowly, over time; he began to test the water with me.
It started with a game, he would be the doctor and I would be the patient.
He would touch me “accidentally in those areas first but he soon learned that his threats worked well and I was too afraid to tell.
I would be taken into care
Nobody would believe me
Our mother would believe him and not me
The family would disown me
He was fully aware of what he was doing, of that I am sure.
I was 13 when I finally realized that my brother raped me, that it wasn’t something that happened in every family room.
Sibling sex is abuse, it is not normal for a sister or a brother to sexually abuse their siblings.
It stopped when I could take no more and went to live with our father. I couldn’t live at home another minute. My mother couldn’t wait to get rid of me, I had become so troubled.
I couldn’t live at home another minute. My mother couldn’t wait to get rid of me, I had become so troubled.
My mother couldn’t wait to get rid of me, I had become so troubled.
By this time the damage was done, I was no longer a bubbly, happy young girl; I was getting into trouble at school and staying away from the house as much as I could.
At 14 I was sexually active with older men and drinking, I guess looking back I was trying to block out the confusion and the pain.
I was finally free of my brother’s bedroom visits, but not free from him, how could I be, he is family.
I am now married and have a family of my own. My parents do not know what my brother did to me, my husband does and he finds it hard to come to family gatherings because of him.
My parents do not know what my brother did to me, my husband does and he finds it hard to come to family gatherings because of him.
Its hard, but I won’t let him hurt me any more than he already has.
Facts about sibling sex and abuse
Sibling sex happens but is not spoke about and people need to speak out.
Sibling child sexual abuse is defined as “sexual behavior between siblings that is not age appropriate, not transitory, and not motivated by developmentally, mutually appropriate curiosity” (Caffaro & Conn-Caffaro, 1998).
In the literature, it is sometimes referred to simply as “sexually harmful behavior” rather than abuse.
Though several studies indicate that sibling abuse is far more common than other forms of family abuse, chronic maltreatment by siblings has only relatively recently become the subject of serious clinical study and concern.
Sibling abuse is far less recognized than spousal or child abuse and is often considered less dangerous, although siblings who are a great deal larger and/or older than their younger counterparts may, in fact, be capable of lethal violence towards their victims.
Sibling abuse is significantly more likely to occur in dysfunctional, neglectful and/or abusive homes, and often reflects a lack of appropriate boundaries and discipline on the part of the parents.
This is an anonymous blog post. You can share your own experience to help others. All blog posts submitted via the blog anonymously email form will be added to the blog anonymously for you, just like this blog post has been.
Please don’t read and run, show your support by leaving a comment for this very brave mother.