This is an anonymous blog post
I can’t seem to remember every detail, somehow I blocked certain experiences of being raped by my brother out of my mind because they are too painful.
But I still remember too many instances of sexual abuse.
I read the blog post My Brother Raped Me and I wanted to share my own personal experience too, it may help someone else out there.
I am the fifth child out of seven, but at the time I was the last child.
I remember my parents telling me to always listen to my older siblings, little did they know, my 13-year-old brother was abusing his power.
He never forced me or hit me; he simply ordered me to do inappropriate things.
I remember him telling me to go to his room when he saw that my other siblings were too busy playing video games.
While in the back room he proceeded to perform oral sex on me, make me perform oral sex on him, and penetrate me vaginally.
I was raped by my brother as our siblings played in the room next to us
There were many times when he made me bend over the toilet in our shared restroom and enter me from behind.
I remember it stinging tremendously, every time.
I’m not exactly sure how long the abuse occurred over time, but I remember that this was a constantly repeated event.
One day when my brother was having his way with me my dad walked into the room to say goodbye before he headed to work.
He immediately saw what my brother was doing and became furious.
At the time I did not know what he was doing was wrong, but I quickly learned as my parents laid me on my back and spread my legs and both began to cry like babies.
They yelled and screamed at my brother then told me and my other siblings to get out of the house and go play while they beat the mess out of him.
My other brother who was only 7 years old began to pick and mock at me about being raped by my brother, and that’s when I became ashamed.
My parents talked to me about the situation many times over the course of the years to follow, but I would always begin to shake uncontrollably and become embarrassed.
They did not do anything to my brother other than beating him on that very day.
Now I am 19 years old, a sophomore in college and I have been with my current boyfriend for 3 years.
He is the only one I have completely confided in about the situation.
If you would have told me that I would love and trust a man so much, I definitely wouldn’t have believed you.
I am still recovering emotionally from my past, but at times I resent my parents for still making me grow up in the same home as my rapist.
I feel like they don’t understand how emotionally scarred I am by his actions.
I am still afraid of having children for fear of one of them encountering this experience.
More importantly I question the motives of every man I encounter, not only for fear that he will hurt me in that way, but also that he may have previously raped someone.
I do not speak to my brother to this day; I have no respect for him at all.
I was raped by my brother but I have forgiven him because that’s what Christ says to do, but I will never forget what happened to me.
This is an anonymous blog post. You can share your own experience to help others. All blog posts submitted via the blog anonymously email form will be added to the blog anonymously for you, just like this blog post has been.
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