The last few days have been somewhat turbulent, many know that I run a very popular mothers group on Facebook, I have done for almost 5 years now.
And while 90% of the mothers on the group are amazing and supportive of others there’s 10% who seem to like to cause drama and insult and judge others.
It’s very difficult to tame over 1,200 mothers who are hormonal or very opinionated at times. I truly understand that many like me are passionate about certain issues and it’s very hard not to appear judgmental.
But these last few days have left me emotionally drained.
I am beginning to think the small number of mothers involved initially set out to cause uproar, exaggerating issues to create a drama on the group.
And this brings me to the question of why?
Why do some mothers feel they need to judge others?
Are they of low self-esteem and confidence that belittling others makes them feel superior?
Do they see their own reflection in another?
It saddens me when a mother asks for genuine help and they are jumped on by others, there’s no such thing as a perfect parent and we are all just trying our best, so why do a small minority of mothers feel the need to humiliate another?
Some mothers were removed from the group, then the messages began, quite simply insulting me. It always happens, they become reliant upon the group and the help and when that’s taken away, and they become fearful and lost and angry and lash out.
I just happen to always be on the receiving end as admin of the group.
When I do not reply they become even angrier, they want a reaction, but for what reason? What issues are they fighting themselves? Why are they so angry?
Remarks such as “I see you have nothing to say for yourself now I have told you what I think of you”
And I want to reply with…
“Never mistake my silence for weakness, nobody plans a murder out loud”
But I know my sarcasm will fall on deaf ears as they have already decided they hate me, they begin to make up lies and join other groups, insult my children and then turn my mental illness on me.
Why do grown women, mothers themselves do this?
It baffles me, I will never understand it.
Most of these women stay angry for a number of months and then apologise, I always accept their apology, and everybody makes mistakes.
There usual reason for their outburst was they were going through a difficult time and using me as a punch bag they were able to cope. I am pleased I can help others, but I don’t like being a verbal punch bag.
These mothers are the ones who need the most support, need friendship and crave attention. They need to fit and will do and say anything to get a reaction from others.
That is why I remain silent, they really don’t know how to deal with that. If they want to believe that my silence is weakness, then more fool them.
I have survived more than they can possibly imagine and I think they see me as a weaker link to them, maybe they need to read the blog more.
They do need to take a long hard look into the mirror and question why they behave the way they do, they are mothers, raising children who see and hear this language and abusive behaviour towards others and it is damaging them.
Why are they not teaching their children to accept everyone as equal?
Why are mothers so quick to judge other mums?
Facebook turns them into keyboard warriors.
Judging others deflects how we feel about our own mothering skills, it makes us feel better to put someone else down because if we put them down, then we become bigger.
But the thing is these are the mothers who need the most support and have the most issues and we must not forget that.
Do not mistake my silence for weakness, I am just sat thinking how sorry I feel for you trapped in what must be a very lonely little world.