I’ve been reading Emma’s blogs for a while, and I’ve never had the courage to send a post in myself but my cousin raped me in a vile way and to make it worse my own brother held me down so this could happen.
I’m changing all names here, for safety reasons, including my own…
‘Rebecca is a bubbly girl, who’s polite, and enthusiastic, a real gem to be around, on track for a positive future, predicted grade A’s.
She’s a really sensitive character, and shows a great interest in her class-work and supporting everybody.
She’s being nominated for Mrs. Granger’s superstar of the month, for her determination and strength to succeed.
My school report at the age 13 had me pinned out to be some amazing girl.
I’d never done anything to harm anybody else, never said a bad word, never sworn at that age.
I’d never got into a fight, never said anything bad against anyone.
I was truly a ‘good girl’ and everybody noticed.
So What happened?
Rebecca’s behavior is outrageous, she’s getting kicked out of every class she goes into, her attendance is reaching 30% and the way she speaks to everybody in the class including the teachers is like she has no respect for anybody else, including herself.
We’ve noticed her behavior isn’t how it used to be, we’ve referred her to the welfare team.
She’s been excluded 6 times, we aren’t sure what to do with her anymore
But my school report at the age of 15 told a different story.
I lost respect for everybody and became verbally abusive to everybody.
I didn’t care about how I made other people feel; I was hurting myself and needed someone to know.
What happened in those two years?
At the age of 13, I started studying health and social care, a month before my 14th birthday we started learning about abuse, every lesson we spent learning about different types of abuse, the outcome’s (things like self-harm, depression, suicidal-behaviour).
Pulling my sleeve down one day I’d had enough of the lesson and I walked out.
I was four years old when I started being sexually abused by Jamie, my cousin who lived with us.
I guess the emotional abuse was always there, I can’t remember a time I wasn’t constantly told I’m stupid.
I remember the time I was 4 though, laying in bed and he came bursting into my room, touching me.
Then my cousin raped me
I begged for him to stop, I begged for my freedom.
He did nothing, threatened to kill me and I believed him.
Then when I turned 10 my brother S started getting involved, S and J would take it in terms to hurt me, my brother raped me too.
This abuse included physical beatings.
I remember my mom having to take me to the hospital on my 11th birthday because HE had smashed my face against the fish-tank, and blamed me for falling off the chair.
The nurse believed HIS story.
Now, what happened when I was 13-15?
After walking out of that class that day I finally told my teacher what had happened.
She said she’d guessed something all along.
I showed her my arms, and she referred me to the welfare team and child protection.
I was assigned a social worker, Hannah who came to see me every day and spoke to me.
I knew by the look in her eyes she didn’t believe me, so on my 14th birthday, I attempted suicide.
When I got home from the hospital, I was pinned down by Sam putting my hand under a chair and sitting on it, and Jamie raping me.
My cousin raped me while my brother held me down
I went back to social services the next day and begged them to move me out of my parent’s house, they did.
I left and haven’t looked back.
I’ve started college now, in a new city and my attendance and behavior is back to how it was before, I’m now the smart predicted A grade student.
I finally found someone who believed me.
I haven’t seen my cousin or my brother in 3 years.
The last I heard was my cousin was arrested for robbery, at least now the streets are safe from a monster like him.
He may have ruined my childhood but my future will not include him.
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