I am a 16-year-old girl looking for some support. My brother in law raped me but my family doesn’t believe me. My sister no longer has anything to do with me.
I found your blog and wanted to write to you because I think you could help me.
My Anonymous Story
I was living with my older sister because my mum had got into some trouble and she went away.
When I was living with my sister she met this guy at a party.
Three months later we moved in with him. Five months later and they were engaged.
From the moment I met him I didn’t like him, there was just something about him I hated but my family loved him.
I had never had a father figure and that’s all I had ever wanted, my own dad was a lowlife going in and out of jail so I gave this guy a chance.
He would take us to places we had never been, he would help me with my homework, he allowed me to learn what it was like to have a dad and I began to like it.
My sister became pregnant and that’s when my brother in law raped me and used me as a play toy.
He came into my room one night and asked for a massage and I gave him one, thinking it was innocent.
This happened a few more times
I was now a freshman in high school and one night after I finished giving him a massage he told me he would like to give me one in return and but I told him no.
He told me that I turned him on.
He would not take no for an answer and he was soon giving me a massage.
I felt his private parts rubbing against my back
I cried that night, I knew what he had done to me was wrong.
It was around this time that I started self-harming.
After that he wouldn’t only do it at night time, he would do little things like kiss my neck and hold my arms up against the wall and this is was all happening during the day when my sister was home.
I started missing school I started doing drugs I would come home late so I wouldn’t see his face but that only made him mad.
One night he came into my room, turned me around and pulled my pants down and rubbed his private part against my bottom.
I was naked, he was telling me he was going to hurt me, I was crying, I was scared.
I shouted and I kicked out and I fought him off me.
My sister finally gave birth and when the baby came home I thought everything had changed. He stayed away from me. He played the loving husband and daddy and left me alone, for a while.
But then a few months later my sister and he began to argue and it was then he would come to my room and force himself onto me.
I would hate it and him so much.
My brother in law raped me and used me as a toy
I wanted to die.
He would tell me to sleep in my underwear so I was ready and waiting for him.
I felt so nasty and dirty.
He would tell me stories about how he used to watch me sleep during the nights when my sister and he first started living together.
At the end of my freshman year my sister wanted to go to Vegas to get married, I cried so much and I began to act so mean towards her, I didn’t want her to marry him.
She kept asking me why I was acting up but the words didn’t come out,
Everyone thought I was crying because I was jealous of my sister, but they did get married.
I fell apart
I would drink and smoke in the house and act up so badly that in the end my sister had enough of me and sent me to Mexico to be with my dad, wich was a big mistake because I didn’t even know him.
I felt so uncomfortable because I would see my dad walking around in his underwear, but he never touched me like my sister’s boyfriend, despite him telling me it’s what dads did.
I knew from there on that my sister’s boyfriend had traumatized me and my behavior became worse,
I was severely depressed and I self-harmed every day
I was at rock bottom and finally found the courage to open up, I had nothing to loose anymore, I had already lost it all.
I told my cousin that my brother in law raped me, I told her everything and she told my dad when my dad found out he didn’t believe me because he was so close to him, they were drinking buddies.
When word got around and back to my sister she completely pushed me out of her life to be with him.
Since then I have moved from house to house with family members, anyone who will take me in.
I am now living on a sofa at a friend’s house and still no one believes me and the ones that do still speak to him, scared of becoming involved.
But I have to live with this fear of men for life now.
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