This is an anonymous blog post
My coffee table went flying tonight. In the hands of my partner in a fit of rage. Myself and the kids were all sent upstairs to get out of his face and I was ordered to go after first refusing.
Sat upstairs with my very frightened four-year old both of us sobbing I just didn’t know what to do. So we cried.
I told my son it was all ok that daddy wasnt mad at him and part of it was true, it wasnt my sons fault.
My other children took him to boiling point fighting and rowing.
He had grabbed the six-year-old and dragged him into the other room after he kicked his older brother.
I made my partner let go of my son.
Afraid his anger would win and he would do something he regretted after.
That sent his temper into a spiral and the coffee table took it. My six month old son was in his chair next to it.
Shoes and cups went flying
I’m ashamed to say I ran in the kitchen
He gave me the countdown to move and I couldn’t
I thought that he would come for me next
Upstairs I told my daughter how to look after the baby then went downstairs.. He was in darkness.
I was crying hoping to god he didn’t come at me but I told him I wont have that kind of behaviour in my house and around my children. He agreed. He had calmed down and was sorry.
Sorry doesn’t cut it.
I know he didn’t mean it. He never does. But every time I have to protect the kids and put myself in the firing line. He’s never hurt me.
It’s never gone that far.
But that man he becomes scares me. Now things have calmed, I’m making dinner and he’s made the kids a cup of tea.
It’s like it didn’t happen, but I am still tearful.
It did happen
I don’t know what to do anymore. My kids are feral. My partner turns into a monster.
I’m expected to deal with it all and I can’t.
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