Today we discuss how it must feel to lose a loved one, a mother from my Facebook support group has never had to face this heartbreaking experience thankfully, but an app on her IPhone has cartwheeled her into a state of sheer panic.
Here she explains:
I normally love life, I cherish every minute of it and everyone in it but I have become terrified of losing a loved one thanks to my iPhone.
I have suffered a nervous breakdown in the past so I know what one is and my god I wouldn’t wish one on anyone but I feel I am heading that way again. The first breakdown happened in 2013 when a huge major trauma happened, which I don’t feel strong enough to write about at the moment but I feel the signs of a breakdown coming back.
I had an amazing Xmas, I didn’t go out or drink alcohol but stayed in with my family and really did make special memories. I spent New Year’s Eve jumping up and down on our bed with all the kids singing at the top of our voices. Then snuggled up to my husband as we changed the alarms on our phones. I also added a few dates into the calendar app.
I could be losing a loved one any day
On the calendar on iPhone, you can scroll down as far as you want and the husband and I were been silly seeing how far we could swipe down with one finger (how many years would pass). I did one big swipe and I got to 2050 and it flashed up in red on my phone
My daughter will be 51 this year
I will be will be 69 this year
My husband will be 74 this year
My dad will be 101 this year – meaning he would no longer be with me, I would have to experience the pain of losing a loved one.
And then I couldn’t stop the tears from falling, the realisation of life hit me, we’re all gonna die and we can’t stop it. I cried for hours.
How will I cope when I lose my mum and dad or brother or sister or husband or even worse kids? They are my life.
And life can be taken in an instant with no warning. I can not face the truth that I will have to face losing a loved one at some time in my life and that thought terrifies me.
I told my mum my fears and she sent me the most tear-jerking message back saying to “grow up because everyone is scared of dying but she will love me in this world and in the spirit world”
What about the elderly?
I think of the elderly being on their own who don’t speak to a single person all day, who have probably’s lost all their family and probably sit there thinking “I just want my mum or my dad”.
I think of the pain people who have lost someone go through, the pain I haven’t experienced yet, yet see it in a lot of people lives, see their broken hearts. I really cannot get the thought of it out of my head.
Mums on Emmas Facebook support group share their pain, of losing their babies, their children or a family member and there are no words we can say either as it won’t take their hurt away.
I haven’t had any bad luck or anything happen since 2013 so what if it’s my year for all the hurt? Thank god I am part of your group Emma because I know you would carry me through it all.
Life is so precious, I don’t know how to deal with these thoughts but I continue to reassure myself every single second and I certainly don’t hold back with my emotions anymore because if something happened to me today I would want those I love to know how I felt.
Have you ever had to experience the pain of losing a loved one? How did you cope?
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