This is an anonymous blog post
I suffered abuse in the form of bullying at school for a number of years because I was an easy target for them. I was born with a cleft palate and subsequently have a slightly higher pitch in my voice to normal people.
I was an easy target because of this
I tended to stay away from other children; they would become friends and then make fun of me behind my back. This has all come back to light as there is a talk of a school reunion I have been left school 13 years and the thought of going back to that place fills me with dread.
I was followed home with them calling me names, taking the piss out of my voice and telling me I was a swat. I used to loose myself in my school work my only release. I thought no one would ever find me attractive, they would not see past the voice the bullies.
They got me mentally to a place where I trusted no one, I wondered what people wanted of they wanted to befriend me I felt small and insignificant.
I left school at 16 and went to college thought it was a clean break they were adults no more bullying, how wrong I was they were worse they mentally bullied me into believing I was no good. I got my first boyfriend at college ( I was 17!) And they convinced me he was cheating they ridiculed my voice, the way I behaved everything.
It made me feel worse than anything I’ve ever known
I had 13 separate operations to correct my palate and I still was not good enough to have friends who genuinely cared. I was an easy target and they just wanted to make me feel like shit and worthless while they were successful and popular.
With school I dreaded getting up to go and I stopped going to college and failed my course, this was due to my low self-worth as that was the way the bullies made me feel. They asked me to repeat myself 2 if not 3 times afterward telling me they couldn’t understand me, why anyone would want to talk to me when I was impossible to talk to.
I became a shy withdrawn person who lost her confidence and did not even want to leave the house. I cannot explain how it felt because as I sit here typing this, my tummy is in knots. I’m crying and feel physically sick. It sounds like nothing but to go through this every day from year 7 to year 11 people it destroys you.
Having others whispering about you as you walk past them, ridicule you and follow you around saying you sound like a mouse or being told to go sort your voice out before talking, has emotionally damaged me.
Needless to say I am NOT going to the school reunion! I was an easy target back then and I am not allowing them to hurt me anymore, I have a life now and a child and I am movng forward with my life.
Have you suffered at the hands of bullies? Would you like to share your own real life story anonymously with the blog?
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