This is an anonymous blog post
I came across your blog after searching for some help, I keep thinking about suicide and I know I need help. I guess I was depressed during my pregnancy to my little girl who is now 3, I hated pregnancy and was quite poorly. I didn’t enjoy those 9 months at all and felt guilty, I didn’t bond very well with my little girl and I think it’s the guilt of that.
My own parents separated when I was young, I always wanted kids but had the idea of the perfect family, a child growing up with mum and dad. Sadly my little girls daddy didn’t want me and her and left us for another women, I was devastated and the break up hit me really hard.
I am thinking about suicide all the time
I just can’t seem to do anything right. I am struggling to work part time and I feel like I am failing at life big time. I dread waking up on a morning and some days I feel like my little girl deserves better than me.
I know I am depressed, I am already taking antidepressants but they are not helping me, they did at first but I have been taking them for 8 months now and I just feel so low all of the time.
I am afraid to tell my doctor that I am thinking about suicide in case they call in Social Services and think I can’t look after my little girl, because I can. She is my whole world and she’s the only reason why I don’t kill myself, she keeps me going.
I just had to be honest, it’s really helped to just actually write it all down.
Are there any other mums out there who have or who are thinking about suicide and how do you get passed that?
I feel such a failure, please help me.
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