So here is my confession I am not sure where this fits on the blog but I am hoping you can help me, you see he tried to go further and it has been bothering me all year and I don’t know what to do.
I went to my friend’s party last year, it wasn’t super big but there were guys there, it was at the end of grade 9 and I was excited to go.
One of my friends had a crush on one guy who was also there and was always trying to impress him.
It was about 1 am and everyone announced they were going to bed.
This one guy who I didn’t like in that way and was a grade older than me laid beside me.
I thought it was in a friendly way at first
I was on the inside of the couch and he was on the outside.
Anyways he got really close to my face and said let’s make out, so we did and it felt so awkward, it just felt weird.
After we kissed a few times I thought it was over, but to him, it wasn’t.
He started rubbing my neck and then to my surprise he put his hands under my shirt and unclipped my bra.
He was rubbing my boobs telling me what a beautiful body I had.
I was in shock.
Then he tried to go further
He started rubbing me above my clothes, down there and all I could do was lay there in horror.
I turned over and he told me “no I want more” and I told him I was tired.
So he just kept rubbing me until my friends returned and turned on the lights.
I got up so fast and was so ashamed I had let this happen.
I know it really isn’t sexual abuse but I just feel so ashamed.
Now each time I see him at school I can barely look at him.
The thought that he sort of took advantage of me and I let him was too much.
He took my first kiss away and all I wanted was for it to be special.
I am a year older now and I just can’t picture ever making out with a guy again in the fear that he tried to go further and touch me so why wouldn’t others?
I am not sure what to do and I am not even sure what I would call this.
I am only 16 years old and have been put off from dating.
What should I do?was what he did wrong or was I wrong?
Was what he did wrong or was I wrong?
He tried to go further than I wanted him too and I also have flashbacks about what could have happened if we were not interrupted.
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