The love of my life isolated me from my friends and family and it wasn’t until he knocked me out cold for the second time that I finally left him. I want to share my domestic violence experience anonymously on Emmas blog to warn other women out there that they will never change.
I want to share my domestic violence experience anonymously on Emma’s blog to warn other women out there that they will never change.
My relationship started off as pure bliss, everything was perfect. We were having fun daily, we laughed, we had plenty of dates that I never wanted to end, it was perfection in my eyes.
I fell for him almost instantly, he was the first person I felt like I needed for the rest of my life. I fell pregnant rather quickly, around 4 weeks into the relationship to be exact and even though it was rushed it felt right.
I loved this man and he loved me so what could possibly go wrong?
He showered me with gifts, mainly boxes of chocolate and treated me out to dinner every other night.
We would have a lovely cooked breakfast each morning, he had already begun to manipulate me and had isolated me from my friends and family without me even knowing.
Over the coming months, I gained a lot of weight but it did not bother me as I was pregnant.
After a while I was barely seeing any of my friends, I spent almost every day with him and every night would be a movie night or a trip out some were.
He isolated me from my friends and family
If I did speak to a friend or try to arrange something he would moan and claim he didn’t like me going with her as she had a bad reputation and he didn’t want me to get a bad name for myself, so to save arguments I stopped speaking to them, totally isolating myself.
I regret that now.
He would also comment on how I would wear too much makeup and clothes that don’t suit my body shape.
Told me to ditch getting my eyelashes done and nails as they were a waste of money, I didn’t need them.
He took who I was away from me.
He made me feel like I was trying to outdo myself.
The first situation that I got into with him that made me think “what have I got myself into?” started as a night at his home, we had watched a film and had generally enjoyed the night, but he wanted more, he wanted sex and I didn’t which turned into him crying and saying if I loved him that I would give him sex.
It ended in an argument with me in floods of tears, in the end, I did what he asked and soon after I walked out, didn’t say a word and drove home, crying. I was in a state of shock.
The first physical violence happened after the baby was born, we were out celebrating his birthday and he wanted to go home with his friend and have a drink there but I didn’t want to. In the end, we all ended up back there and another argument broke out about how selfish I am and he punched me, which resulted in me being knocked unconscious.
I was covered in blood
I woke up on a stone cold floor with blood pouring from my nose and no one to be seen. I ran to the door but he had locked it, with no keys in sight I could hear the music upstairs blaring and people talking, I was petrified so I rang the police.
A few moments later they were at the door and he was arrested.
I couldn’t help thinking that not one of these people in the house had one once of sympathy for me and left me there on the floor, out cold while they were upstairs laughing.
I finished the relationship and vowed to never go back.
But he isolated me from my family and friends and I had nobody to turn too and after his never ending promised and He Said He Was Sorry a million times, I took him back thinking he had changed.
How wrong was I?
An abuser never changes
This time, he strangled me in the middle of the street in front of 100s of people, not one person helped until I was out cold. It’s fair to say I have lost all faith in mankind.
It’s fair to say I have lost all faith in mankind.
I broke away for good that time.
I found out not long after from other girls that he had been sleeping with them behind my back. He treated me like a fool. He played me well and good but in his mind it was ok. He thought and still does that I will take him back because of his words:
“Your fat now, I made you like that and no one will ever want you this way, so you will come back”
Those words still haunt me to this day, Verbal Abuse Is Abuse In Wordsverbal abuse is just as damaging as physical abuse.
I have no confidence what so ever.
I look in the mirror and hate who I am, who I have become.
I have no friends and very little family who are interested in me and my life. Why would they be? I brought it all upon myself.
I am slowly getting there and slowly starting to trust again. Hopefully, one day I can find someone who will treat me how I deserve to be treated and hopefully one day I will be happy again.
Hopefully, one day I can find someone who will treat me how I deserve to be treated and I pray that I will be happy again.
I still don’t have many friends because he isolated me and I don’t feel able to contact old friends now but Emma’s Facebook support group has given me a safe haven and I am building online friendships.