“Love is a wonderful thing, my dear, but it leaves you wide open for blackmail.” ― Jasper Fforde, Lost in a Good Book
It may occur between parents and children, husbands and wives, siblings or close friends.
According to psychotherapist Susan Forward, who did much to popularise the term, emotional blackmail is a powerful form of manipulation in which blackmailers who are close to the victim threaten, either directly or indirectly, to punish them to get what they want.
They may know the victim’s vulnerabilities and their deepest secrets.
“Many of the people who use emotional blackmail are friends, colleagues and family members with whom we have close ties that we want to strengthen and salvage” – parents, partners, bosses or lovers.
No matter how much the blackmailer cares about the victim, they use their intimate knowledge to win compliance.
“Leave me and I will kill you and the children” was the ultimate blackmail he had over me.
Abuse in relationships destroys the victim; there is no doubt that 8 years after leaving this marriage, I still carry emotional scars.
Abused women do not just bounce back after the abuse has ended, they don’t just walk away and live happily ever after, there are many hurdles still left to overcome.
My controlling husband controlled every aspect of my life, even my emotions. He played with them, I was a puppet and he pulled my strings.
The emotional blackmail was emotional abuse to the extreme
He manipulated me. He forced me into submission.
He threatened me into doing things and saying things he wanted, I was treated like a dog and would be punished if I dare disobey him.
He would guilt trip me into agreeing with him.
He knew things about me that nobody else did, when I had a nervous breakdown the emotional blackmail became worse, because if I tried to leave or spoke out about the abuse, then he would make sure everyone knew I was crazy.
I was terrified of him and I believed he would have carried out his threats.
If you loved me you would …
If you cared about me then you wouldn’t ….
Emotional blackmailers are bullies.
Do not allow someone to emotionally abuse you, speak out, get out and stay out.