Today one brave mother reveals how an early miscarriage experience has left her terrified of trying again for a baby. What if it happens again? She hopes to gain some support and reassurance that she can and will go on to have a healthy baby.
My Early Miscarriage Experience:
January 2014 was the best month of my life. I had given birth to a handsome little boy. We had not been ‘trying’ for him, but we weren’t on any protection when we found out we were expecting him, we had mixed feelings. Excited, nervous, scared, happy, could we cope?
Before finding out we were expecting him, I had never noticed anything wrong, every period was like clockwork, so I do not think we had any problems conceiving or that I had any miscarriages. After a fairly smooth year of parenting to our precious son we decided in April 2015 to start trying again and so my pills went into the bin.
I fell pregnant straight away, to my surprise. I was over the moon, but I knew it was very early days. The weekend after I found out I was expecting we went away for a long weekend camping. It was such a lovely weekend, I carried on as normal, so went on tonnes of bike rides, went walking a lot. I don’t drink, nor smoke so didn’t feel I was putting a huge risk on baby, just a fair bit of exercise.
The day we came home, we stopped at a family members, where I found blood in my underwear. Sure enough by the night time I was bleeding as if I would on a period, but very clotty. I was devastated, I took a test a few days later to reveal a big fat negative.
I had an early miscarriage
I was devastated but at the same time, I stayed optimistic, it was an early miscarriage and I ought to be thankful that if it had to happen then it was early. It clearly wasn’t meant to be and there was nothing I could do. So after my next period, we started trying again.
Late November 2015 I had another positive test, I was over the moon, again it was very early, only 5 weeks, but this time, as we weren’t going away I managed to book myself in the doctors and arrange a midwife visit, but the following day, after seeing the Dr, I awoke to find I was spotting.
Holding out on my positivity, I thought many women bleed, but I phoned the Dr who got me in that morning. She also kept positive and said it could just be a breakthrough bleed and not to panic as it wasn’t that heavy.
The early pregnancy unit advised me to wait until after the weekend and to retest, that would be a way to determine what was happening, especially as I was still too early to see anything via a scan too. So I booked myself in on Monday so they could test me. Sure enough over the weekend, my bleeding became heavier, more clotty and my positivity had gone, I was certain what was happening, especially as it was so similar to the time before.
Monday morning came and I went to the Drs to be tested. Sure enough, the pregnancy test was negative. That day I was numb, the following day was my birthday and that’s when everything came out. I cried on and off all day, didn’t want to do anything and felt miserable. The only person who could make me smile was my son.
A month on from that and I feel a bit better, not over my last 2 ordeals but feeling that they weren’t meant to be and something was obviously not right. I also know I am so blessed that I have my son, think they would have been even worse if he wasn’t around, he’s been the only one to keep me smiling?
Now I am on my first period since and I’m ready to start trying again. I may feel more positive again, but I admit I’m absolutely terrified I’m going to go through it all again.
Has anyone else had an early miscarriage but gone onto have a healthy baby?