I have learned never to take your loving family for granted, I see and hear so many families suffering under extreme conditions and I will let you judge how you would react if a mother came to you and said ” My brother sexually abused me“. What are you meant to say? How can you help her see this is not what brothers are meant to do, it was not her fault?
An anonymous story
I’m going to just get straight to the point here. My brother sexually abused me for five long years. It started when I was 11, which would have made him about 10. Though he was younger than me, has was so much stronger and had real temper problems which needed proper help from proper people. Anyway, mum and Dad worked a lot and me and my brother were left at home a lot. I hated it, cos that’s when he would come see me.
It was just touching me and kissing me to start with but, as time wore on, he started demanding. I tried to fight it off to start with. I remember a time I had pushed him off my bed so he threw me around the room and punched and punched and punched me as I stood sobbing in the corner. He was too strong. And I was afraid to tell. There was nobody to tell.
My brother sexually abused me
He did things to me no brother should ever have done. He did things to me that nobody should have done without my consent. We moved to another house when I was 13 I think it was. It was there that it got worse.
He penetrated me anally, orally, fondled me; he even started touching my privates in the street.
My own brother sexually abused me, how could he do that to me? I was so ashamed, sibling sex was wrong. What if somebody saw? What if somebody saw and thought I was ok with this? I wasn’t but I was too scared to do anything about it.
He was still my brother, despite the fact of what he had done. I would lose everybody if I told. That’s if anyone believe that I was raped by my brother? I think I was 14 when my brother and I had a massive argument at our grandparent’s house.
He slapped me round the face and stormed out.
My Grandad turned to me and asked if my brother had ever touched me, in that way. I don’t know what made him ask. But I lied and I regret that to this day. Grandad died a year later. If I had told, it would all have been over. But I loved my Grandad and I never wanted him to hear about that stuff.
I just dealt with it.
We moved again when I was 16. This time, I was with my Mum and he was with my Dad. And suddenly, it was all over. He didn’t see me anymore. He couldn’t touch me anymore.
About 5 years down the line, another girl went to the police and said my brother had raped. He was arrested but the times had been wrong and so he was let off. I believe he did it.
I believe her
If he could do it to me, he could do it to anyone. And I should have stepped forward and told, but I still couldn’t. And still, to this day, I haven’t told. He’s gone off and got married and nobody sees him now. Nobody knows what he did, except the members of Emma’s mums group who don’t know who I am.
I know I will be judged for not telling but I couldn’t. How could I tell someone my own brother had done to me? It’s changed my life for sure. I have a baby now and a daughter. It terrifies me in case I have another child and it’s a boy and he hurts my girl. I’m not planning on anymore but if I do, I hope to god nothing ever happens to my little girl.
I’m hoping I would know what to look out for, but nobody knew what I was going through. Would I definitely know if she was going through it too? My brother sexually abused me and this is still destroying me.
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