I was at a family party and my elder cousin was there with his new girlfriend. She had two young girls, one was the same age as me and I became friends with her at the party.
I asked her if he had ever done anything to her. She looked scared and nodded shyly.
I knew then I had to tell.
He abused me and now I knew he had abused my cousins girlfriends daughter too.
I told my mum and Dad when I was 12 about the time my cousin had done a magic trick.
I knew at this age what he did to me had been wrong and knew I had to tell my parents.
I was only 3 when it happened
My mum and dad had been divorced about 3 years when I told them.
I had been sexually abused by my cousin and I remember my dad telling me everything would be OK.
I woke up the next morning to my mum and dad and two female Police Officers.
My parents had reported what I told them.
I told the officers what had happened, that he abused me and they were lovely.
They made me feel safe and think that justice would be done.
I was assigned a social worker, her name was Liz and I remember she had huge thighs.
I had to go to a special unit where I was interviewed on camera.I was asked all kinds of questions and answered each one as honestly as I could.
He abused me and I had to sit and questions that an innocent 12-year-old girl never should.
It seemed like forever before anything happened but before I knew it, I had to go to court.
My mum and dad were in the actual courtroom but I was taken to another room with a video link in to the courtroom. It was explained to me that I wouldn’t be able to see ‘him’ but he could see me.
This petrified me. I was then questioned
I was questioned by the prosecution first then by the defense. The defense of my cousin were horrid to me. I was blatantly told ‘Your only doing this so your mum and dad will get back together’ which made me cry.
The last thing I wanted was for my dad to live back at home as he was a violent thug towards my mother, but felt I couldn’t say this to the defense as I knew my dad would be in court watching and listening to what I was saying.
After court had finished we all went home and life resumed as normal, I returned to school after being off for a few days and got on with things, tried my hardest to put it behind me.
I came home from school a few days later to find my mum sobbing at the kitchen sink ‘he’s got away with it’ she said.
I cried, I shouted, I screamed at the injustice.
And that was that.
He abused me and got away with it
A few months down the line, mum was ironing the school uniforms when the iron blew up. She sent me down to my grandfather’s house to borrow his iron and sitting in my grandfathers kitchen was my abuser.
I ran home shaking and screaming, told my mum what had happened and after that I do not know what happened.
All I know is we never spoke to my mother’s side of the family again because they didn’t believe what I had said.
My mum still lives 5 minutes away from my grandfather I walk past him in the street and totally ignore him.
I am now a mummy to 2 gorgeous children, I am a confident person in a loving relationship and have fantastic friends. I have not let this person ruin my life.
He abused me when I was 3 years old yet I have moved on with life now, he will not destroy my future happiness.
However, I cannot let my children out of my sight, it is a struggle to leave them with anyone apart from my mum, partner or sister. I am determined my children will never be hurt like I was.
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